“I have never been considered as a role model of female beauty. As a kid, I was always chubby, I hated wearing pink and later on I refused to wear high-heels or to walk with straight back or to put my legs gracefully one after another. Every time my mother tried to introduce the mystery of the female body to me, I just tuned out and wandered away in my thoughts – which I thought were waaaay more fascinating than anything I was supposed to know in order to “become a lady”.
As time went by, girls around me slowly started to use make up and to worry about their weight. Girls with curvy figures like myself at the time were a favorable target for bullies: I clearly remember the very first time I was bullied. I wanted to join some of my schoolmates on the school playground who were playing basketball and this boy came up to me laughing and called me a “red ass baboon”. Although the memory makes me laugh now, I also remember feeling terrible for long weeks after that incident. That one comment on my look determined my whole body image for the rest of my teenage years. I have become insecure about my looks, I tried to take up the same habits as girls of my age and I ended up feeling ridiculous because none of the clothes looked on me the way they looked on all my skinny friends.
For many years I used make-up as a disguise: I sincerely felt terrible without that protective layer of chemicals on my face.
Up until today I get bullied on a regular basis, one way or another. It’s either my fringe, or my weird-ass clothing or my music itself. It’s only been two years since I began the rocky road of self-acceptance: I am still in the process of understanding that beauty does not come from the fake things you put on in order to hide away, but REAL beauty stems from an inner confidence one gains once they realise that beauty is the most subjective term of all. Beauty is the difference and to be beautiful is to be different.
I am nowhere near my final goal of feeling entirely comfortable in my body, but only the fact that I no longer think that make-up is the only tool of female beauty makes me feel like I achieved something.”

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